Monday, February 18, 2013

So, This Move Is Totally Happening.

I'm moving in a week.

You wouldn't know it by the state of my apartment, which is in complete shambles. I was supposed to really get a lot of packing done today, but I had two articles to write and a feature to finish. Then I ate two cinnamon rolls. Now I am nodding off.

The last week has been stressful to say the least.  We found out a week ago that my mom had to have open heart surgery. She needed a valve replaced. They went in and told her she had the "heart of a 30 year old." She's quite proud of that. I'm quite proud that she didn't even have to spend one night in the ICU and was released 3 days after her major surgery. Everyone at the hospital was apparently calling her "Wonder Woman." I'm also proud that my sister and her husband didn't collectively decide to feed themselves to the alligators in the lake by the hospital, as they were dealing with all this stress by themselves. That's the bummer of having your family disbursed throughout the land.

I'm still having mixed feelings about leaving Brooklyn, but the 20 degree weather is helping. So are the smells coming from my apartment building. Last night my husband and I woke up convinced our hoarder neighbor decided to burn the building down. He didn't - he just decided to cook chicken at 3am in a pan I am convinced has never been washed because it smells like old food, shoes and fire every fucking time he makes a meal.

I just Googled "shoes frying in a pan" and this came up. The Internet is truly amazing.

I'm going to miss my friends dearly. But I hate having neighbors and this exists,

Fuck you.

which basically sums up all the reasons I don't want to raise my child in Brooklyn. It's a fourteen dollar parenting magazine that has "farm to table" recipes and photo shoots with $300 bags. Get me out of here.

Okay, so I'm a little grumpy today. I'm seven months pregnant and getting on a plane next week with my toddler, cat, husband and fetus.

I'm also having a serious come-down off the cinnamon roll high that inspired me to write a little something today.


Wednesday, February 13, 2013

I Suck At Making Mom Friends

I’m terrible at making mom friends.
My son is two years old. I have been blaming my lack of friends who are moms on various things along the different stages of his life. He was born in November, during one of the worst winters we’ve had in New York in years. Maybe you remember the term “snowpocalypse?” Yeah. As a new mom, I was terrified of strapping him on to my chest – certain that I would slip on a patch of black ice and crush him to death. The few outings we took with the stroller were reminiscent of watching an economy sized car without snow chains in a blizzard. Stuck every few feet – it was frustrating at best. We inadvertently became shut-ins. Not a whole lot of socializing going on during those months.
As he started to get a little older, the few moms I did know were beginning to put their kids in playgroups that I couldn’t afford. And frankly, paying to go somewhere to play with my kids with other moms always seemed a little ridiculous anyway. I vowed to make mom friends the old-fashioned way – by striking up a conversation at the park.
Not so easy in Brooklyn. I would say that about 70% of the adults at the park with children during the day are nannies. I don’t have anything against hanging out with nannies, but they never really warmed up to me. Whenever I tried to strike up a conversation they would inevitably look at me as if I were some playground spy who was planted to make sure they were doing their job right. Like a live nanny-cam. I started realizing that those pay-to-play dates may not be so “ridiculous” after all.

Read the rest on Mommyish...

Anyone else have this problem?

Friday, February 8, 2013


He's already looking at his work with a critical eye. Like mother, like son. 

Thursday, February 7, 2013

No, YOU Shut Up

I'm sick of mom's being told their stories aren't theirs to tell.

I'm also sick of people claiming they don't want future employers Googling them and finding out about their potty training habits. That is the dumbest point, ever. If your potty training habits come up on a Google search, 20 years after a post was made - I'll eat my hat. Also, if your prospective employer gives a rat's ass about that... ???

If you follow this blog at all, you'll know that I'm not in the habit of over-sharing about my kids. I am a photographer though, and I am in the habit of posting adorable photos. It's what I do. If anyone out there thinks they care about the safety of my child more than I do - they would be wrong.

If anyone in this day and age thinks that they are not searchable on the Internet - they probably live in a cave somewhere and harvest their own food. That sounds like an awesome life, don't get me wrong - but for the rest of us - there is no such thing as privacy if you have ANY kind of social media presence. If you've managed to have no social media presence, kudos to you and you can judge all you want. But if you have one - at all - your life is not private.

If you doubt me, browse around on different shops on the Internet for a while and see if they don't appear in your Facebook ad feed shortly after that.

I wrote a rant that I am very proud of this week on Mommyish. You should read it.