Wednesday, December 5, 2012

I'm Not Qualified To Give Anyone Advice About Anything - But It Never Stopped Me Before

Last week, I wrote a piece for Mommyish called "The Best Pregnancy Advice I Never Got." One of the readers on Mommyish told me to fuck off, and Huffpost Parents ran it on their site - so it was an all around success. You should read it. I think it's funny. I also think it's true, but whatever. Some women have glowing pregnancies and absolutely no problems adjusting to motherhood - in which case they probably wouldn't find it very informative. I don't personally know any of these fictional beings - but I've heard they exist.

So, I'm in week 15 and everything isn't totally grossing me out anymore, which is awesome. I can probably expand my diet beyond bagels and cookies now. But I've noticed that everything is irritating me a little more than usual now. Pregnancy hormones are great! Hopefully I'll make it through the next few weeks without killing anyone. One can dream...

It turns out that I am practically an elderly woman. I'm thrilled to learn that. If I hear the phrase "advanced maternal age" one more time I'm going to freak out. I am going to fill you in on all of the drama I have been experiencing because of my old uterus soon, but for now - you can read this. I'm sure those of you who have been or are pregnant in your late thirties can relate.

I imagined writing a lot more during the first few months of this pregnancy, but it turns out that I am experiencing a little PTSD.  That might be a little dramatic, but it seems my brain goes into this auto-pilot-protect-mode since I have had so many issues with previous pregnancies. I am starting to grasp the fact that there is actually a little being in there now - and hopefully can work through the frantic stress I'm feeling and write more.

11 comments:

  1. My Mother is one of those "omg I LOVED being pregnant!" people. -_- Pfft. Please....morning sickness my butt. It was more like constant 24/7 sickness. My back hurt, my ribs, my hips...pretty much everything. Skull splitting headaches. Yeah...pregnancy is AWESOME! >_<

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    1. Ha. I I told my mom I thought I was starting to show already (at 4 months) and she said " I didn't show until I was 7 months pregnant" hahahaha

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  2. The comments on that post are RIDICULOUS! I like how you can't write anything on the internet without someone freaking out and taking it way too seriously.

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    1. I know. It's pretty weird. Thanks for sticking up for me though!

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  3. OMGMARIA, you totally made me think that you were a physician who was qualified to answer all questions about being pregnant ever. I mean, not just anyone can get a blogspot site, right?

    I grew up going to work with my mom at a women's health and fertility clinic. I have absolutely no illusions about pregnancy. I also got to go with her to a lot of pre-natal appointments because she was "advanced maternal age" with my brother and having a five year old in the room somehow kept them from scolding her quite so much...

    Chin up!

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    1. Doctors aren't the only ones who can play head games ;)

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  4. I checked out the comments section (the first time I read it there weren't any). Some people have no sense of humor whatsoever.

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    1. Oh Well. That's what happens when you put words on the internet, I guess!

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  5. I read the article and forgot to read the comments. Now I have to go check them out because irrational anger amuses me.

    So far this pregnancy thing sucks. Every time I vomit I give myself permission to park my butt on the couch for at least two days. If only I didn't have to go to work. Sigh.

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    1. I think you definitely have permission to park your butt on the couch! sorry you're getting sick :(

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