Jimmy Kimmel: Have you thought about circumcision?
Snooki: Oh of course.
Jimmy Kimmel: What are your feelings on that?
Snooki: I definitely want him circumcised. Because then I feel like he won't get laid, if he doesn't.
Jimmy Kimmel: If he's not?
Snooki: I'd be like what is that? So, yeah. I want him to have a normal penis.
Snooki, ladies and gentleman. The voice of our generation. Well, not my generation - but somebody's.
I approached the whole circumcision debate the way most of my friends did. Whatever my husband wants. For some reason, the logic behind He has one, he should decide what to do with it made sense to me when I was pregnant. Must have been the hormones making me completely illogical.
I understand there are religious reasons for circumcision. I also understand that there are health issues in some parts of the world. But we didn't have any religious reasons - and we don't reside in sub-Saharan Africa. My husband wasn't concerned about any health implications. The main points he made were, My son should look like me, and I don't want high school girls making fun of him. These points are clearly ridiculous. Let's deconstruct them one by one.
My son should look like me.
Fair enough. What if you were missing a thumb? Would you want him to look like you then? People are different. Their bodies are different. This is something we need to teach our children anyway. I remember the first time I saw a penis. I was about 3 years old, and a friend of the family was changing her son's diaper in front of me. I remember thinking, What the hell? It was then that my mother explained to me that boys and girls have different parts down there. No big whoop. It didn't traumatize me or change my life in any way. Also, I want my penis to look just like my dad's, said no son, ever.
I don't want high school girls making fun of him.
Okay, so I'm supposed to take a scalpel to my newborn son's barely anesthetized penis, because I am concerned about what some silly teenage girl is going to think almost two decades from now? I think not. More and more American parents are foregoing circumcision, so this probably won't be an issue by the time my son becomes sexually active, anyway. Frankly, I don't want him having sex with some ignorant idiot that thinks foreskin makes him un-dateable.
The bottom line is, the It's my husband's choice sentiment flew right out the window after my baby was born. The day after he was born, my midwife came into the hospital room to remind us that we would need to make a choice about the circumcision. I looked at my baby and said, Over my dead body is anyone taking a knife to this perfect specimen. And I meant it. That was my choice. And if you chose different, that's fine too - because we all do what we think is best for our child.
Thanks Snooki, for inadvertantly reminding me that I made the right decision.