Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Wonder Clock. Ugh.

Every wonder how much time you have left until your ovaries shrivel up, and you are rendered a spinster, forever?  Well, worry no more!  Mira Kaddoura has created the first "downloadable biological clock" to take the guesswork out of your fertility angst.

The Wonder Clock’s name is artfully ambiguous. Instead of a tense countdown, it instigates more a sense of curiosity. What could happen as this clock counts down? Maybe children, but also self-empowerment, innovation and exploration. This app brings an ever-present pressure to light while implicitly encouraging women to fill their lives with their individual wants and needs.

Wow.  Well, I didn't get any of that out of it, but before we go on, let me show you what it looks like:

Instead of a tense countdown, it instigates more a sense of curiosity.   Really?  How?  This is a clock.  That is it.  It has no other function, than to countdown.  This isn't a choose your own adventure app.  The only element you enter into it to receive your personalized version, is your birth date.  At best it's a completely non-scientific guessing game, and at worst - it's horrifying.  I almost bought it just so I could see what it would say about my biological clock, but I didn't want to give this she devil $1.99. Here's what she has to say about her creation:

I created this clock to face my own fears. To
beckon the elephant in the room so to speak. To
release my own power, my own choices. To open
a dialogue with other women about fertility, 
empowerment, and loving ourselves. We are women,
and we are ticking. But we are so much more.

She's obviously not a she-devil.  But, something tells me that if her biological clock said something like one year, one month, 13 days and no minutes - she would be less likely to think that this app was so empowering.  I looked on her twitter page, and the only women that seem to love this thing are women for whom the ticking of the clock is a distant worry.   Like these girls:

And then there are the random men that think it's "funny."  Like this guy:

I don't think she's a horrible person.  I don't.  But I do think she has created a gimmick - that's all -  not a tool for empowerment.  Frankly,  I'd rather a woman make money off of this than a man, so more power to her.  But I also feel that if a man had created this, we would all be calling it what it is - useless.  Fertility is a sliding scale, not an infinite number.

Good for you Mira, for developing an app that is catchy enough to be picked up on by the news media.  But do us women a favor, and don't act like you're doing something to empower us all.  You're not.  If you think you are, talk to me again in nine years, four months, and 25 days.

1 comment:

  1. I... I just don't even know what to do with that...