- Erykah Badu
Truer words were never spoken.
I am an artist. And a Pisces. These two things basically make me an open wound at all times. Luckily, I have some things in my arsenal, that protect me from constantly weeping; my big mouth, my quick wit, and my ability to laugh at myself. It's stream of consciousness Sunday, and the topic is: what feels overwhelming to you right now and how are you coping?
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| Seeing this ridiculous cuteness everyday helps me cope, for sure. |
I have unleashed my views upon the world, via my blog. Surprise! Not everyone loves what I have to say. It's been a little overwhelming dealing with the negative feedback from the people in cyberspace who hate my guts. Listen, I admit that I have a strong personality, and that not everyone likes people with opinions. I'm just finding it a little overwhelming figuring out how to deal with these people.
Sometimes, people have no sense of humor. I just think, wow- I can't believe you didn't know I was joking about that? Last week I wrote a blog about attachment parenting that I thought was obviously written in jest. Emphasis on the word obviously. Someone left me a comment that said, I feel sorry for your children to have a mother like you. What? Then there were the two Facebook fans I lost, six minutes after writing about Fifty Shades of Grey. Holy shit.
And then there was the woman or man (not sure which because they posted anonymously) who felt the need to visit my blog twice, months apart, to call me graceless. This pissed me off. I Googled how to deal with negative feedback on your blog. Yes, I really did- I am that big of a dork. Google told me that I should always take the high road, be empathetic, and respond in an appreciative way.
Fuck that.
I actually do appreciate this woman or man or whoever, because they got me thinking about why I write my blog. They remarked in their opus of a comment that I put my opinions out there to be judged. Sorry, whoever you are- but no I don't. I actually hate being judged. And don't tell another adult what their intentions are. Ever.
I started this blog because after having my child, I began to feel really isolated. Truly. I don't have a lot of friends with children. Your life becomes very small and lonely when you are basically the only one of your friends that has procreated. I wanted to connect with other women that feel the same way that I do. That get my jokes. Women that would basically be my friends in real life.
So, back to stream of consciousness Sunday. What feels overwhelming to me? Anonymous insults in cyberspace. How I cope? By realizing how many amazing people I have connected with already, because one day I decided to take a few minutes to design this page- and put some thoughts on it.
Thanks people- for getting my jokes.
And thanks All Things Fadra for the writing prompts on Sunday. If you want to join in, go to allthingsfadra.com every Sunday and link up.
I've found that people who troll are wastes of space. They feel crappy about themselves, even though they "know" they're way better than the rest of us simply because they take themselves too seriously. Ignore those mofos and keep on writing-- I LOVE this place!
ReplyDeletexoxoxo- I appreciate you!
DeleteI think your shit is awesome. And I think you are incredibly brave to write your innermost thoughts and feelings and share them with everyone. I know I could never do it...and I think that's the same reason people troll blogs. No one will listen to what they have to say or they're too afraid to come out and say it, so when they read someone else's stuff, they attack. Either way, you're better than them; you are smart and funny and have the balls to stand behind what you say. I say keep at it!
ReplyDeleteThanks lady! How are you feeling? Is pregnancy hugeness setting in yet?
DeleteFeeling good actually! But yes, pregnancy hugeness is both literally and emotionally kicking in. I can't believe my baby is almost here...and I'm going to be someone's mother. It's a strange feeling! I also have a feeling that I'll be on here a lot for anecdotes and stories. I apologize in advance.
DeleteYou won't believe this but I envy you. Because the "professional" in me often has a really, really hard time letting go and just writing. I don't want to upset people with something, or use bad language, or be too polarized in my views. And instead, I think it often makes me forgettable.
ReplyDeleteAt least you are true to yourself and that is something to be really, really proud of.
forgettable?! Sorry, no way. Your blog is one of the first ones I began to follow when I started blogging- and I read it all the time. Because you are real, and likable and definitely NOT forgettable.
DeleteI think you are amazing and I love reading everything you write. You make me laugh, giggle, chortle, guffaw, snort, and sniffle with empathy. The internet is chock-full of passive aggressive, lily-livered bullies and assholes, and we can beat them. I promise I will leave all of the positive comments I feel brimming over inside me each time I read you posts, because I always have them and (shamefaced) have not written any down until now. Thanks for your blog, for your candor and humor, and for the timeliness of your posts. They fit just right and I appreciate them so much as a mom, as a reader, and as someone who hates bullies and assholes. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks! This made my whole day better. :)
DeleteHere's what I ask myself when something like that happens: If I met this person in real life, would I like and respect them? Or would I think they were a humorless, self-righteous asshole? I tend to go with the latter.
ReplyDeleteAnyone who has achieved any degree of success in life deals with a lot of criticism. It is a super sucky part of the territory.
Besides, I like you so much I added you to my blogroll. HATERS TO THE LEFT!
You're right. Oh, so right.
DeleteOk, you don't know me, but I completely dig your jokes AND your shit.
ReplyDeleteI was a big city west coaster, who was the first of my friends to have kids; and I WISH I had an outlet like this back then (12 years isn't that long, right?). It was lonely, and it still is, now that I'm the only one back a work (spent 10 1/2 awesome years at home, and the economy forced me out- how's that for feminism? Raising the kids & saving the family). ALL THAT to say- I read you even though my kids are way past baby-ness, because you're just that good.
You are superwoman!
DeleteI have to say, I think you and I are on opposite sides of the spectrum as far politics and religion go, but I love reading your blogs. I appreciate your humor, wit and sarcasm, especially relating to motherhood. And you are simply a gifted writer. Keep on blogging, Maria, and ignore those insensitive jerks!
ReplyDeleteHey there! I don't always get your humor. I don't always agree with you. Big deal. I don't always agree with my best friends. However, I really like enough of your stuff that I subscribe to your blog.
ReplyDeleteThis post reminded me of the viral video "It's okay to not like things" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0la5DBtOVNI
I am new to your blog, but I'm sensitive about my blog and rude comments/trolls, too. I haven't read your attachment parenting post yet, but I'm going to, and believe me I'll take it tongue in cheek. As for 50 Shades? LOL
ReplyDeleteFound you at Fadra's place!
;-)
@erinmargolin
I found your blog on Bloggy Moms Blog Hop. I followed you on Twitter and GFC. I also liked your Facebook page. Please check out my blog at http://mommacoupons.blogspot.com. Thanks and have a great day!
ReplyDeleteOkay, so I just got home from work- and I have to say that I will go to sleep tonight with a smile on my face because all of you ladies took the time to come here and say something. You all rock.
ReplyDeleteLove your last sentence. I love the people that get me and I write for them and myself. I wrote about Fifty Shades of Grey too. What's the big deal. I don't know anyone who likes/wants to be judged and judgmental people are probably my BIGGEST pet peeve. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteThe sad thing about those kind of people is that they probably would never have the balls to say those things to your face. These people hide behind their computer screens and mouth off because it makes them feel better to put others down. Ignore them, they aren't worth it.
ReplyDeleteYour blog is the only mommy blog I read where I've never come across a post that I disagree with. I'm with you 100%! I know not all people share your views or mine and that's OK. But it's not OK to belittle someone for having differing views. I was raised to treat others as I want to be treated and to do unto others as I would have done to me. I feel that golden rule is elementary. If people can't follow that, then they totally aren't worth it.
You rock, Maria! You have a beautiful son and you're doing a wonderful job! And even if people say you're doing it wrong, you'll know in your heart that they're the ones who need to take a second look at their choices. You've done nothing but make me feel empowered in the choices I make with my tiny human, and that's what keeps me coming back!
Thanks, Julie. :)
DeleteKeep on blogging in your wonderful way. That's why I love it so! Small minded judgmental people are sad.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kerry!
DeleteThanks for writing what I have been thinking. We are writers and artists and if you don't enjoy what we have to say, just move along.
ReplyDeleteRight? The internet is vast!
DeleteI don't think I have to tell you what I think about this, now do I? However, I am so glad that you stopped by my own little piece of the interwebs and commented so that I could find you, someone who appears to be my soul sister and equally as artistically angsty (and apparently I'm now making up words.)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, don't worry. It's your blog. It's your space. Screw everyone else, right? Be a blog bitch and fly that flag proud, because dammit, you deserve it.
I'm gonna make a "let your bitch flag fly" badge now.
DeleteOh, really? So you don't yell "Eat it, asshole!" to your kid?? I just loved your blog more BECAUSE of that!
ReplyDelete**Alert! Alert! Irony used in comments. Can lead to misunderstanding and negative feedback**
Jeez! I mean, don't they GET it? Well, it's a good filter. You wouldn't want these people giving you advise anyway, right?
(BTW, I LOVE your blog! Have I said that in other comments already? Hahah)