Traditionally, you only get a baby shower for the first baby. This is the one that counts, because you presumably don't own any baby necessities yet. You also have never had a baby, so you have absolutely no idea what "necessities" even means. None.
So, you go to the sites and register for the items you are guessing you need. I registered at a site called Giggle.com. The most awesome thing about this site, was that it shared an almost identical URL to a site that sells sex toys. Great. That kind of stuff only happens to me. My friends know that I have a sick sense of humor, but thankfully none of them had the balls to wrap up a vibrator and present it to me in a box flanked in baby booty wrapping paper, in front of my mother. But I digress. Back to why baby showers- and registries- are ridiculous.
|What in the hell is this thing?|
Also, I wish someone would have told me that almost everyone ignores your registry anyway, and just buys you whatever the hell they want. Which is usually some cute little newborn outfit that your child will never wear. Lucien was born on November first, at the beginning of what would turn out to be a brutal winter in New York. I didn't take him anywhere for like, three months. He wore long sleeve onesie pajamas- only. All of those adorable little newborn outfits that everyone couldn't resist buying went completely to waste. I ended up giving about $400 worth of brand new clothes to the dishwasher at my job who was expecting his first baby a couple months ago.
This brings me to baby registry tip #1. Do not register for clothes. People will buy them anyway, and you will end up with a bunch of stuff you never use. The only clothing that actually comes in handy those first few months are long sleeve or short sleeve onesies, depending on the season. Unless you are one of the New Jersey housewives, and you plan on dressing your baby up in ridiculous outfits and parading her around town. In which case, you're on your own.
Now, what about the gadgets? Rocker, swing, mobile, bouncer- what's a new mom to choose? Well, being as I registered at the most bourgeois registry on the planet, all of these gadgets where of minimalist design and uber expensive. Luckily, I would never ask my friends to buy me that expensive shit- so I just didn't register for any of it. My genius sister sent me a Fischer Price baby seat- that I probably never would have chosen on my own. It had jungle animals all over it, vibrated, played music and bounced when baby moved. Lucien loved this thing more than life itself. And it actually provided a place for me to put Lucien, when I wasn't holding him.
Baby registry tip #2. Register for a baby bouncer seat. Did you know, that you need somewhere to put this baby, when you aren't holding him? I didn't really even think about it. You will want some kind of seat. I'm calling it a seat, but it's actually something you just lay your child on and strap him to that keeps him somewhat upright. This was an absolute necessity for us- and one that I didn't even register for. Thanks sis, for being brilliant.
On to the Diaper Genie. I didn't register for it. Do I really need an extra garbage can in my house, that isn't even cute? What is the point of that thing? Can't I just wrap the diaper in plastic and put it in our own garbage? What's the big deal? I hate to break it to you, but the shit that comes out of your baby is the foulest, most disgusting-smelling substance that you can ever imagine. Actually, you can't imagine it. Childless people have no idea what human feces smells like after it sits around in a garbage for a few days (I hope). It is the foulest, rankest smell on the planet. The Diaper Genie contains that demonic horror. It is a simple design, it's not cute- but accept no imitations. It works. Just buy it. You'll thank me later.
Baby registry tip #3. Buy the aforementioned Diaper Genie. Do it now.
Toys? Meh. Your newborn can't even focus, let alone play with anything. I opted for playing music for him. The bouncer seat has little dangly things that he can try to touch, and rattles are pretty cool, too. Other than that, wait until he gets bigger. Save yourself some space.
Swaddling blankets. Lucien hated to be swaddled, and once he was big enough, he just kicked out of them. Buy a few. But don't buy 10, like we did.
Bottles. How many do I need? I really don't know what the right answer is to this. But I can tell you that we have four. And it's worked fine. I bought the 9oz Avent ones, with the interchangeable nipples. If you do this, you are able to keep the same bottles and just purchase faster flowing nipples as the baby gets older.
Baby registry tip #4 Don't register for diapers. If you've never had a child, you will have no idea which ones you prefer. Every single mom I know uses a different diaper, and swears by hers. I use Luvs Ultra Leakguards- but you might hate those. You won't know until you try them. We started with Pampers, and poop used to just shoot up his back. Seriously.
Baby registry tip #5 Gift cards rock. Target gift cards, Amazon gift cards. The great thing is- it's cash. And you can spend it on the things you will figure out that you need.
Okay, so that covers some of the basics. Really, this whole registry thing should change. What we should do is pick a Mom in our life- who we think is sensible and awesome- and have her manage the registry for us. Kind of like what I just did, but tailored a little more to your specific tastes. She would be like a pregnancy Maid of Honor. Brilliant! How do I not have a 401k?
P.P.S... here are some links to the things you want.
Gerber Newborn 3 Pack Long-Sleeve Onesie Set, White (0-3 Months)
Fisher-Price My Little Snugabunny Bouncer Seat
Playtex Diaper Genie Elite Diaper Disposal Pail Philips
Gerber Brand 4 Pack Organic Onesies, White, 3-6 Months
AVENT 5 Pack BPA Free Classic Polypropylene Bottles, 9 Ounce
aden + anais 4 Pack Muslin Swaddle Wrap, Jungle Jam