Wednesday, April 4, 2012

You're not in Kansas anymore. And your ass is too fat.

This is the most recent photo of models without photoshop that's been making the rounds all over the Internet lately.  It seems that no matter how many times we see actual women- it just doesn't sink in that the images we idolize- that all make us feel shitty about ourselves- are not real.

The woman on the left is Victoria's Secret model, Alessandra Ambrosio.  You know when you browse the VS catalog, and you find a cute bra?  And then you see how it looks on their model, and they use words like full coverage and second skin satin.  And then you look at the bra on the model and you think, She looks fully covered-  and pretty happy about it!  And then you order the bra, try it on, and cry?
Well, she's the reason that none of your bras look right on you.  She's the woman these items are fashioned for- and she has no boobs.

The woman in the middle is plus-sized model, Crystal Renn.  She's a size 12.  And by the looks of this un-retouched photo, sexy as hell.  But, we'll just call her plus-sized, and make all of the women in this country that look like her  feel fat.  And a lot of women in this country look like her.  The average size that women in America wear is 14.

The girl on the right is Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover girl, Brooklyn Decker.  Notice how her, and the plus-sized model are very similar in size?  (Well, except that she's way taller.)  It turns out that Sports Illustrated likes their cover models to have boobs.  It also turns out that if you have boobs like that, and they are real- you will also have some hips and thighs.  God is fair like that- she really is.  Here is her SI cover photo:

Hmm.  That doesn't even look like the same person.  She lost about 4 inches in her waist, and her hip bones are protruding.  Sexy!

What is up with this bizarro narrative that we are letting the fashion industry and popular culture sell?  I feel like we've all been duped- like in the Wizard of Oz.  Somewhere, there is a disgruntled man sitting behind a curtain.  He is bitter.  He is unloved.  He looks something like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons.  And he has an evil, emaciated sidekick.  She looks like Fraulein, Dr. Evil's right hand woman.  They sit behind the curtain all day, eating sunflower seeds and flipping through fashion magazines- calling everybody fat.
I am OZ, great and powerful.  WHO ARE YOU?

As you can see, I am making jokes.  Only to keep myself from crying.  How did we let this happen?  It seems the more women advance in this world, the skinnier the world tells us we need to be.  It makes sense, if you think about it.  How can we really fight for equality, when we're hungry, tired, and riddled with self confidence issues?

The Tinman and Scarecrow said it best;
Help! Help!  It's no use screaming at a time like this.  Nobody will hear you.

Help! Help!

In news completely unrelated to this post- apparently I have been hiding my Facebook page from all of you.  Clearly, I need to brush up on my social media skills, so I don't turn into the old lady that won't use the ATM.  It turns out the only way I can let you know about new posts, is if you become a Facebook fan.  Become a fan and get new post updates.  Just click the link on the top right of this page. Thanks.


  1. Um, seriously? That girl is plus sized? She has a flatter stomach than I do (as well as skinnier legs) and I wear a size 6. WTF? lol

  2. Maria, you are my hero. Thanks for being our voice!

  3. I don't get the whole plus sized thing. At all.

  4. I believe its about education and understanding what is real and what isn't. Our children need to be educated that drinking doesn't make everything better like in the commercials; models don't look like that in real life; and a Big Mac looks nothing like that when you unwrap it.

  5. Awesome post, 100% in agreement! I randomly found myself here, but if this is what you preach I'm coming back for the next sermon. Amen sister! x