This is why we can't have nice things.

     For months, I have been waffling with the idea of joining the food co-op.  A food co-op is basically a grocery store that is run by its members.  Since they cut out the overhead of paying employees, they are able to offer all of their products to members at insanely low prices.  All you have to do to join is pay $175 and commit to working 2 hours every 4 weeks.

     Sounds pretty great, right?  It is.  And if you are not an asshole, like myself, and live in the Fort Greene, Clinton Hill, Bed- Stuy, or Prospect Heights area, you should join here.

That is actually my baby's face- bottom, 3rd from left.  I totally suck.

      Groceries in Brooklyn are ridiculously expensive- and I have a baby.  These two points alone should make me beat the doors down to join.  Also, I know a lot of the people who worked hard to bring this about- and they are really lovely.  But I haven't joined yet.  Why?  Could it be that 2 measly hours of work every 4 weeks is enough to deter me?   Well, yes, sort of.  But it's more than that.

     I'm in the service industry.  It's an industry that I love, it really is.  And I am really good at it- making people feel welcome and taken care of.   But when you work with the public- day in and day out for 20 years, like I have-  inevitably something happens.  You begin to have a lower tolerance for chit-chat.  I mean, I basically get paid to be nice to people.  It's exhausting.  My days off are basically quiet zones, spent communicating only in baby talk with my child.  I like it that way.  The thought of committing those 2 extra hours a month to "building community" makes me want to stab myself in the face.

     It sounds terrible- and it is.  I may actually be a bad person.  But I'm just being honest.  I might have been able to work through all of these feelings, had I not witnessed the live-tweeting of a neighboring co-op's monthly meeting last night.  There is no way in hell- no way in hell- that I have the patience to sit through something like this.  I can't.  I just can't.

     Chadwick Matlin, a Reuters Opinion Editor and co-op member, live tweeted the meeting.  He also sealed my fate of eternally buying expensive groceries, in a non-community building environment.   Here are the tweets in all of their glory.  This guy is a genius.  I left some out because I got really sick of taking screen shots. You can see the full tweet-script here.