Saturday, January 28, 2012

Isn't it AMAZING? No. It's not.

    I really wanted a natural childbirth.

    We took hypnobirthing classes.  We went to midwives.  I watched all the right documentaries.  No early cord cutting for me!  No pitocin! Definitely no epidural.  No painkillers!  I am woman- I can do this!
    Then Lucien pooped all over himself in the womb, went into distress, his heart rate dropped- DRAMATICALLY- and I ended up with an emergency C-section.  I know a lot of women who end up with C-sections- heck, a lot of women even  opt for them.  But I wasn't prepared for how horribly I would react to it.  I was not prepared for having to recover from a major surgery.  In fact, I wasn't prepared for anything less than what I had imagined would be my perfect birth.  I wasn't ready for how I would feel after Lucien was born.
     A couple of days after the birth, the obligatory congratulations started pouring in.  From my friends without kids, the responses were benign enough.  "Congratulations!" "Good job Momma!"  "Way to go!"  The responses from my friends with kids went something like this:
     "Did you ever think you could love something so much?"
     "You'll never believe this love you are experiencing will just continue to grow and grow!"
     "Welcome to the most incredible ride of your life!"

     Huh?

    Why didn't I feel this way?  What was wrong with me?  Was I like one of those animals in the wild who eats their young?  After years of trying to become pregnant, was I actually not maternal? Looking into Luciens's eyes, all I saw was a little creature who I wasn't sure liked me, who I couldn't seem to satisfy, and who I was going to be responsible for keeping happy for a loooong time.  And, he was ruining my boobs.  What the hell?  I started crying.  And crying.  Pretty much every day.  This was definitely not how it was supposed to be.  I had always wanted a child.  Why wasn't I happy?

    A few weeks after the birth, the fog cleared, I stopped crying every day, and eventually slipped out of my depression.   When I talked to mothers about what I had experienced, many of them said they had felt the same exact way after the birth of their children.  The first thing I thought, was "Why?"  Not why had I been depressed, but why hadn't anyone warned me it might happen?  I always thought postpartum depression made you crazy.  I wasn't on the verge of slitting my wrists or drowning my baby, so it never occurred to me that I should talk to someone about it.  I didn't realized that not everyone was blissfully happy after having a child.  Some women are really overwhelmed.  And that is normal.  What a revelation.

     There only seems to exist two stories for a new mom.  She's a glowingly happy maternal queen who can fancy a Moby Wrap into an origami swan, or she's a danger to herself and her baby.  But there are so many shades of gray in between.  And expecting mothers should be told about them!  I mean, I get it.  Pregnant women are overly sensitive, hormonal, petrified- nobody wants to scare the shit out of them.   We treat a pregnant lady with kid gloves,  but  guess what- a new mom is still overly sensitive, hormonal, petrified- and now she has a little being depending on her for ALL OF IT'S EARTHLY NEEDS.  I think it would help all of us to practice a little honesty toward expecting moms.   Tell them what they're in for!  For the sisterhood!

     "When are you due?"
     "Mid February."
     "Go the the movies.  I haven't been to a movie theater since Lucien was born.  Go out to dinner with your husband.  Oh, and sleep- a lot.  Like 18 hours a day, or more if you can.  Start using lotion on your nipples now, because after about 24 hours of breastfeeding they are going to be chapped and cracking.  Get a pedicure.  A manicure.  A haircut.  Have sex, for sure, because you won't be doing that for a LONG time.  Do you have a picture of your belly, pre-pregnancy?  I hope so because from now on you're going to have this little extra flap of skin that you'll have no idea what to do with.  Yea, it's gross.  Watch a lot of TV- and swear constantly.  You won't be able to do either of these things after the baby's born for fear it will cause irreparable damage to baby's brain and temperament.  Have your husband touch your boobs- a lot.  You're not going to want him to go near them after your child's been feeding off them for a year.  Oh, and no one's gonna get up for you on the subway anymore, so you should just ride it for a few hours- maybe to Queens?"

     Oh Jesus.  Maybe that's not the solution either.  But we can be  a little more forthcoming about what it is to be a new mom.  It's terrifying, isolating,  and also great.  It's confusing and totally worth it.  And if you are a brand new mom reading this post- go easy on yourself.  You made a person.  That is really hard!  Good job!  Way to go!  Did you ever think you could love something so much?  You'll never believe this love you are experiencing will just continue to grow and grow!  Welcome to the most incredible ride of your life!

If you like what you see here, please follow...


Photobucket Photobucket

63 comments:

  1. I could have written this! After my first was born, I kept waiting for that magical moment when I would feel like this was the greatest thing in the world! Instead, I spent every day crying & begging my husband not to go back to work & leave me all alone with this little guy who never stopped crying or feeding or pooping, etc. He took 20 minute naps (which took me about an hour to get him to do) & flipped out if I even considered putting him down so I could go pee.
    It took me months too finally feel that bond everyone kept talking about.
    However, I will say that with baby #2 it was a totally different story. He & I were both much more relaxed. I truly believe that my attitude changed 100% w/baby #2 & I realized, Hey, babies cry! And, he'll be just fine if he fusses while I take 2 mins to go to the bathroom as long as I put him somewhere safe. I bonded immediately with my little man & it was such a different world for me. I didn't have any of the depression I had with the first little guy.
    I suppose once you realize what a short period of time it really is, it makes those long nights a smidge easier! :-) Now, since both my kids decided that 5:45 was wake up time this morning, I'm off to collapse! Oh wait, I can't..gotta watch the kids while daddy sleeps in. :-P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! Maybe i'll win the lottery and have #2! Thanks for reading!

      Delete
  2. That's just like me. I Planned a natural birth and ended up with pitocin and an epidural and 36 weeks. I didn't really care how he came, but once he came and they laid him on my chest I felt nothing. I told everyone I did and all that. But really I didn't care. I took care of him because I had to. I hate that people ask you those damn questions like its the best thing ever. I felt ugly, like I couldn't go anywhere, and like he took my life away. I cried so much because I was miserable. Breastfeeding didn't work out because of a psychotic nurse and then my lack of bonding I really didn't try too hard. I had 2 he's of sleep the night before my water broke and went to work all day (thank you stupid army) and my water broke around 9 pm then I was in labor for 28 hrs and couldn't sleep at all. Then people from Dh's unit kePt showing up and all I wanted to do was sleep. I was exhausted.

    Also no one was around to help me. My husband had to work all the time. I realized I probably had ppd one day when I went to go meet someone from freecycle to pick something up and dh decided to just sleep. So I got there and he person wasn't there and I had a kind of anxiety attack and went home crying and started just throwing stuff. I was jealous of dh all the time. I can say I actually hated him. He went out with friends sometimes and I got stuck at home with a baby. I'm just sorry I never got help for it. Especially be ause I thought of killing myself.

    I was like this for months. I love my baby now, I don't think of suicide, but I still have bad days and I'm going to talk to someone about it once dh gets home. But it took over 5 months for me to love my baby, but some days I still have those days and I know it's because I'm depressed. I know it now.

    I think a huge part of my depression is because my unit (when I was working) kind of shunned anyone that got pregnant. Then I was put on bedrest and hated beig stuck at home, not getting a baby shower, and not doing any of the fun shopping for baby. Then my sister decided to start a family fight instead of keeping her big mouth shut. Then I was kind of shunned by family, my aunt fb messaged me telling me I was basically a horrible daughter and a bunch of lies while I was in labor. Then told me I wasn't supposed to read it till after I got home. Like that would have made it better. She's never allowed around my child now. Then I had zero help. Was alone. And there's a whole list.

    I think mothers should know any and all emotions are normal. Especially not loving your baby right away.

    I thought I was crazy, bu I know better now. I just wish someone would have told me all this and told me to go get help. But no one was around to care or do it because of a stupid ass fight.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sorry for spelling errors I'm on my phone. And the long novel but I think it should be put out there. Especially for family that may be shunning someone who just had a baby. There's a time and place for things, not right after or around the birth of someones child.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Totally agreed. I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience- who wouldn't be depressed after all that? It would be weird if you weren't! It's stressful enough being a new- add an unsupportive family and that sounds like hell.

      Delete
  4. LOVE THIS!!!! I felt the exact same way and I was so ashamed:(. I wish someone had shared this with me before I had my daughter! I'm sure I wouldn't have listened though I had a very detailed vision of what this was suppose to look like and boy was I wrong! LOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We're in the same boat- I doubt I would have listened either. It's amazing how much more you think you know BEFORE you have the baby. Then you have it, and realize you know nothing!

      Delete
  5. I truly thought that there was something wrong with me because I wasn't having all of those 'loving feelings' about our LO when he came home with us. Hubby would come home from work and I would be crying after spending the entire day nursing and all I wanted to do was sleep and not have something depend on me. Thanks for writing this!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In the beginning, I blamed those feelings on the c-section. All my natural birthing classes kept talking about how it was unnatural to cut a baby out of the wound, how it would mess up attachment and bonding, etc. Then, after I posted this story, there were a lot of women who had natural births that felt the same way.

      Delete
  6. That totally sounds like my family! They said I was making a mistake having Riley and Have never been supportive of me to begin with. They only see him on holidays and birthdays and wonder why he doesn't go to them. Sorry, just really needed to vent. Babies are blessings and it's really hard being a first time mom and not having any support at all!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed. Someone mentioned to me earlier that it's not socially acceptable for women to complain about motherhood- and I think this is so true.

      Delete
  7. wow this sooo sounds like how i was after my daughter was born! i loved her right away, but i didnt feel this instant attachment to her like everyone says. i think having a c section had alot to do with it, but also i was a single parent from the beginning and was tired and hungry all the time from taking care of her AND hormonal...no wonder i wasnt happy and blissful!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You deserve a trophy, a box of chocolates and a lifetime supply of foot massages! I hope you have family around to help you out- and give you a break for sanity every once in a while!

      Delete
  8. Totally agree with this. I wanted the natural birth, but ended up in labor for a very long time. At 41 hours in (yes, 41 is not a typo) I had pitocin and an epidural. 5 hours later, thankfully I slept for several of them thanks to the meds) my daughter was born. I was exhausted having only slept a handful of hours in 2 days, I was starving, having eaten very little in 2 days, and I had just had the most difficult workout of my life which left me with a second degree tear. They put this cone-headed, wet, screaming thing on my chest and all I wanted to do was eat the turkey sandwich on the tray across the room because it had been 8 months since I had allowed myself to eat lunch meat and, as previously stated, I was starving. I tried so hard to fall in love with my daughter at first sight, at second sight, three days later, but it just didn't happen. I resented her for the pain I was in, the lack of sleep, the trouble breastfeeding. I resented my husband for going back to bed in the morning because he was tired. Are you kidding me? I was up 4 times a night, strapped to a pump 7-8 times a day, frustrating myself trying to breastfeed a child who wouldn't latch, and I couldn't even sit or pee without pain, and he was tired??? That's really what no one tells you -- you can't hold your pee, you feel like you can't leave the baby to use the bathroom, and to top it all off you have to fill a bottle full of warm water before you pee because you can't wipe. Running water to get it warm when you already have to pee and can't hold it.... not fun. We had a water closet, so I couldn't fill the bottle and pee at the same time. I missed my old life, too, the old freedom I had to just do what I wanted or needed when I wanted or needed it. I missed showering daily. I missed going out. I took a while before I felt a connection with my daughter. I probably started the first time she smiled at me because she recognized me. Now at almost a year I can't imagine life without her, but it was difficult in the beginning. I've asked others how they felt and no one has ever mentioned not falling in love with their babies immediately. I've felt like a freak and completely non-maternal because of it. Thank you for posting this. People need to know that motherhood isn't always magical and that it is perfectly normal to need time to bond with your baby.

    ReplyDelete
  9. 41 hours of labor! You are not a freak- you're a superhero! Thanks for sharing your story. :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. First weeks of post partum really do suck. I was fortunate to have a normal birth and had a lot of help around but I felt like everyone around me was going to hurt my baby so I didn't let anyone to help. I could've had it lot easier if it wasn't for the hormones...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thinking about this, I DID fall in love with my daughter *who is 10 momths now* and I still struggled, cried, resented felt overwhelmed a big part of this last year. Love for your baby doesnt exclude baby blues and what I call 'transition shock.' When people talk about post partum, I like to say it isnt if a new mom has it or not but who is willing to talk about it, Thank you for talking about it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I remember being so excited to go to the first "mommy group" meeting a week after I'd given birth... I wanted to see everyone else's face reflecting back exactly what I was thinking, which was, "Were we lied to or WHAT?!" So when the leader of our group invited us to tell each other how we were feeling, I blurted out (because I was so sure EVERYONE would be in complete agreement with me...) "isn't it crazy how you don't feel that instant, like, oh my gosh, I'm so in love thing?!? I'm freaking tired out of my mind and feeling downright hostile toward my husband...who's with me??!"... SILENCE...MORE SILENCE... Awkward glancing around the room... Finally each woman started saying that they loved their baby right away and were "over the moon" & "so blessed" about having their "dreams come true"... I had never felt so alone, not to mention ashamed, embarrassed...and I never went back. I've since joined another group but honestly, I find it pretty "surface", the things the new moms are wiling to talk about. I LOVE, I mean, I LOOOVVVEE my son. But this new "adventure" is not pretty. It's very messy and to a certain extent, very hard to swallow. Why shouldn't we be able to say freely, "Um, this sucks!" and "I miss my old self/life!" Saying it doesn't mean we don't love our kids and that we are bad moms. As a matter of fact, I think we are more kick ass because of our willingness to admit it :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. thank you for posting this. i thought i was alone and that it's only because i have twins. i was trying to *fall in love* with my babies but i really had a rough time for three months: endless diaper changes (they are using cloth diapers because disposables are expensive here in the philippines), constant breastfeeding, burping...you get the picture. for weeks and weeks i only slept 1 hour a day and i had to contend with one cranky baby who cries endlessly starting the witching hour of 6 pm until 10 pm or until she falls asleep. good thing i decided to go home to my mom to give birth so she could help me out. but still---two babies!

    now i'm past that gadawful stage and i love my little girls so much!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Every time I see a woman with twins I want to give her a trophy- I don't know how you do it!

      Delete
  14. Oh my god, I wish I'd seen this before I gave birth! No on tells you how overwhelming the whole thing is...a friend of mine calls the first three months the "hundred days of hell", ad god help me, I'm only two months in.
    When I has my son, it took less than 2 hours from start to finish. I keep hearing how 'lucky' I was, but it was terrifying and I wasn't able to have any help for the pain. So when they handed me my son, I was in total shock - like, 2 hours ago I was eating a sandwich, and now I have this kid!
    I remember feeling completely detached from the whole thing - people kept remaking how calm I was. I think I must have been in shock. Then this tiny baby starts to wail, and the first thing I do is look around for someone to take him and calm him down...then I realize, it's all me from now on. Yikes. And since I had such an 'easy' delivery, they sent me home 24 hours later...completely unprepared, overwhelmed with my kid (who felt like he should belong to someone else). I sobbed the whole way home.
    Yes, things get better every day, but those dark days still come every so often. It's so good to know I'm not the only one going through it! Thanks for the awesome post and super entertaining blog :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally understand Erin... the first time my son cried, I was thinking, "jeez! somebody shut that kid up..." and yet... I was the mother and expected to do just that!

      It DOES get better, as you know.

      Delete
    2. You are soooo not the only one. It gets better- much better, I promise.

      Delete
  15. Oh Ditto!! Let me tell you, the crap "they" did not tell me...

    It took time for me to love him, he's 4 now and a whole lot of my world, but still... I miss me.

    That little guy had to know where I was every minute of every day, the father thought he was just gonna move in and we were gonna be this family. I wanted to kill the father and never could decide whether to throw myself or the baby out the nearest window, silly since I lived on the first floor. It was just bizarre! I felt like two people, like I was playing this role. Waiting for his mother to show up and yet realizing I was his mother...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Waiting for his mother to show up and yet realizing I was his mother..."
      Totally.

      Delete
  16. I stumbled upon your blog and am glad that I read this post! I completely agree with how 'love at first sight' may not happen for every mother and the first 3 months is hell! I too remember resenting my husband for still having a life, going to work, while I stayed at home with the baby as she depended on my boobs for survival. I am a nursing student now, just finishing my 3rd year. I plan on working as a labour and delivery nurse after I am done. I think it is integral that nurses, midwives, physicians prepare women for those emotional surges that do happen postpartum. PPD is real and debilitating. However, health professionals can certainly do a better job at educating expecting mothers on the signs and symptoms, especially the 'grey area' of PPD that may not be as severe as postpartum psychosis! All of you women who posted are brave for speaking up! Now, to get the society to accept it, so women all over the world can stop feeling alone and ashamed! As a future nurse, I will try my best to provide such teaching, encouragement and to normalize the 'lack of bonding' that is so common after birth!!
    thank you!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, thank you. Women like you in those type of professions can REALLY change things for the better. It is so important to remind nurses that this may be something they see every day, but a new mother will never forget that time, in hospital, after baby is born. I had a terrible experience with my nurses. They were really cold and unhelpful. I felt so isolated! Don't even get me started about the nurses who were present when I had my miscarriage (at 3 months!). That was one of the most awful experiences ever- and I remember the nurse saying- we do 30 of these procedures a day- it's no big deal, don't worry. WHAT??? Anyway- thanks for reading :)

      Delete
  17. If the depression lasted for only a few weeks ('only', I know :P) then it was more likely what's called the 'baby blues', kind of a more mild form of PPD that doesn't last as long (weeks vs months). It is MUCH more common than full blown PPD, but obviously makes the first few weeks an emotional roller coaster.
    I have been thinking of starting a website called 'No one told me!!!!' so parents can post things that 'no one told them' so that other parents can read it and know what to expect. The trouble is there is SO MUCH information to be told, it's next to impossible to cover all the 'no one told me!!!' stuff. :/

    ReplyDelete
  18. Wow! So happy I read this. After I had my son I felt what many women have stated here, almost an emptiness. I was expecting to be blown away with this huge uncontrollable love for my baby. When he was born (after 24 hours of labor) they immediately put him on my chest, he peed all over me, and I felt nothing. My boyfriend, on the other hand DID experience that immediate bonding, I was blown away by how much he loved our son. I kept catching him standing over the bassinet staring at the baby and crying. I couldn't help feeling I was horrible because he was feeling all of this love and all I was feeling was exhaustion. He kept talking about how much he loved our son and how he just felt so different about everything now, that his whole world had changed. I just played along, what could I say? I was tired, I felt ugly, I hurt, and I felt like my son was literally sucking the life out of me. Luckily, things have gotten SO MUCH better! I guess I just needed time to warm up to my little man. He is now 13 months old and I can't get enough of him. He is so much fun, and everyday I love him even more. I have NEVER told anyone about how I felt after he was born. I was worried I would be viewed as a cold monster. Thank you so much for putting this out there, I am very comforted to know that what I felt was not abnormal.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thank you for this! I only wish I had found it about 7 months ago. My baby girl will be 8 months old tomorrow. She is amazing and I adore her but there are days I feel like I'm losing myself in the swirling vortex of mommyhood. I was like you in so many ways...researched EVERYTHING, wanted to go natural, planned to exclusively breastfeed for 6 months and keep it up to at least a year, couldn't wait to look at my little angel and feel the swelling love and joy...and then at 39 weeks and 2 days my labor started. On a Tuesday. Easy enough, right? Not so much. Contractions built and got closer (like 2-4 mins apart) and I thought "this is it!" and then they eased back to every 45 mins. This happened for 4 (count 'em) 4 days. By Friday I wanted to die. I had already been sent home from L&D once because while my "contractions are certainly measurable and obviously close together" I "just wasn't dilating." So I went home, to cry and not sleep some more. Saturday (yep, that would be day 5 for those counting) I finally couldn't take it. The contractions had hit the point that if my husband wasn't grinding his fists into my lower back with his full body weight behind it I almost couldn't take it. We got to the hospital. I was 4.5 cm. They (final-fricken-ly) admitted me. I was SO tired after having not slept for 36 hours that I said "Screw it. Give me the epidural." because I knew I wouldn't be able to push her out as exhausted as I was. They broke my water to find poo. Awesome. They put me on pitocin. I went from 4.5 to 8 in 2 hours. Yay. Then dilation stopped. Literally. I stayed at 8 for 4 hours. Little miss was just not coming down. She was stuck. Sweet. Just what every trying to be serene first time mom wants to hear. So they wheeled me on back for my C section. I was good. I was excited. Once they put her in my arms I was happy. The hospital was great. I was delusional. Then we went home...and reality sunk in. I was a wreck. Like afraid if I left the room she would stop breathing. Breastfeeding was hell. She wouldn't latch right and the hormone surge that's supposed to be so beneficial caused my PUPP pregnancy rash to flare to the point that I would claw myself bloody. Speaking of...said rash was supposed to be gone by one week PP and stuck around until after my 6 week check. So at 1 month I reluctantly "chose" to stop breastfeeding, and then mentally flogged myself for the next 2 months because I had "failed". For the record, PPD's a bitch, but she doesn't have to win.

    I think the gist of my above novel is this. It's all fun and games until the baby is actually here, then stuff gets real, fast. It's super easy to be judgmental based on "the books" or what the (always contradictory) "experts" say but until someone has lived a day in the new mom's head they have no right to be snide OR overly peppy. Some of us had every hope and plan dashed to smithereens and are just trying to get through the day in survival mode. And that's ok. My child will not hate me if I don't do everything perfect and yours won't either. Sometimes the best we can do *is* the best we can do.

    So again, thank you. It's nice, even 8 months later, to know that I'm not alone!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How horrible! That is crazy and awful. I'm glad you got through it and are feeling like a human being again!

      Delete
  20. Extremely well put!!! I thought I'd hit the all time low when I cried on my two-week old babies head! I then phoned the nurses and asked what kind of mother does that??? And they laughed at me. And said, "All of them Darling!" I felt better after that.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Love this post. I relate to it so completely. I hated those early days when everyone thought I should be thrilled and ecstatic and I did not feel that way at all!

    ReplyDelete
  22. great post babe, thank you for posting. after six years of infertility we finally had a son and I had a rough pregnancy and was told this is what I wanted. the birth and first two months were beyond difficult and I couldn't wait to get back to work. People thought I was crazy, but the more I talked about it, the more other moms admitted the same thing. It;s okay to love your kids and still need time to yourself.
    stopping by from SITS

    ReplyDelete
  23. Funny and honest -- love it (and I love the name Lucien). I laughed out loud at the "eat my young" line. Wish I had done all the movies, sleeping and belly-photo-taking you suggest but maybe someone else will listen and thank you later!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Before giving birth, I read don't have a birthing plan...& I realized why after. I was induced with my first child on a Thursday & had her on Sunday! Yes...4 days later! The doctor kept mentioning section- but as long as Chloe was ok- I refused.

    After 4 days of labor, I gave birth to her naturally.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Great post. Love the ending, especially, because actually that is EXACTLY what we should be telling expectant moms! :) Happy SITS day!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Your story sounds a LOT like mine, c-section brooklyn mama. The advice you recieved was so true!! I definitely went to the movies A LOT before my second was born and watch a ton of tv and slept a lot because I knew what was coming. You have a fantastic blog, Happy SITS day!

    ReplyDelete
  27. There's so much that new moms need to know. Why do we have to find out the hard way? We need a SITS for new moms!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I was warned because I was induced. And, the doctor came in there and said, "I am going out of town now, Dr. Stone is going to take over." WHATTT?!?! Now nobody warned me of that! I was lucky it was my doctor who was birthing the baby to begin with but she left because I was there fore 5 a.m. in the morning until 11:45 when my little bundle was born.

    I was so freakin exhausted. I would've probably opted for a c-section except I just knew I my phobia of being put under any kind of anesthesia would make me hyperventilate and probably make matters worse.

    I wound up having a natural birth but with the epidural (that didn't work even after two tries just numbed my legs. Woohoo. :/)

    How about... the stupidest thing in the world but... I didn't even KNOW humans could make milk lol until I became pregnant. I don't know if it's because I was just not raised around babies? Who knows. Thought never occurred to me in my younger years.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh and that was 11:45 p.m.
      ALL day labor :o

      Delete
  29. You have such a beautiful little one!! Happy SITS day!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Well written post. You're right about so many things. I had a three day delivery and I was overseas without family and all my friends worked. Add in a baby with 6 month colic and you are the walking dead. I like your website. Very nice. Happy Sits Day.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Same story here too - PLANNED for the perfect birth experience, emergency c-section. Nothing's been the same since (or planned). Great post and happy SITS day! Just followed you on twitter!

    ReplyDelete
  32. So unbelievably true. After my little man was born, I was mad at him every night b/c he wouldn't sleep so I could eat ice cream. Seriously -- ice cream? It wasn't until he turned about a year old that I realized I was probably going through some sort of depression at the time. I'm over it now. :)

    The one thing no one told me was that after the kid is born, the nurse is going to push like you-know-what on your stomach. With my first child, I yelled at the nurse, "What are you doing!?" That was NO WHERE in my baby birthin' books.

    Happy SITS day. Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  33. ...wait....I still swear constantly. My kids get on my case ever since my mother told them those are bad words. No, I'm not kidding. My children refuse to swear. I curse like a sailor. Hmmmmm.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Excellent, excellent post.

    {{ stopping by from SITS }}

    ReplyDelete
  35. I love this...my go to gift for baby showers is a bath kit for mom with a note that simply states...this is now your only relaxing time...enjoy it. Happy sits day!

    ReplyDelete
  36. eeesh yeah. I didn't go through pregnancy, but adoptive parents have similar issues that we should be warned of. Yes, raising a child can be amazing. it can be hard as hell too, and make you want to run away from everything and live in a hole in the desert. We need to warn our comrades about this!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Thanks, ladies for all of the wonderful feedback and for reading!

    ReplyDelete
  38. I get you. I was totally cool until I started weaning myself off of the c-section pain killers. WAH!

    ReplyDelete
  39. I don't have any kids so I don't know, but you sound like you're being honest so I believe you.

    Oh, and you're totally right about people giving up their seats. I'll give up my seat for a pregnant woman with no problem. I don't give up my seat to a woman with a child. Why? Because usually she'll just put the child to sit down and then I'll feel like I just gave up my seat to a child...which is bullshit because when I was a kid I was always made to give up my seat to adults. I'm an adult now. I keep my seat.

    Happy SITS day!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Happy SITS day! looks like a great blog!
    Sara

    ReplyDelete
  41. Happy SITS Day!

    What a remarkable post. I absolutely agree with you. I just wrote a post on what I miss about my pre-kid life.

    Kerrie
    http://familyfoodtravel.blogspot.ca

    ReplyDelete
  42. You know, when my hubby and I found out we were pregnant, we actually thought about how cool it's be to have twins.
    Now that our little girl is here, and we have a taste of parenthood, we laugh and laugh at our stupidity.
    Mommyhood has been the most rewarding, fulfilling thing I have ever done, but it is also the hardest!! Spot on.

    Thanks for sharing this! I enjoy fellow mommy posts!! Happy belated SITS day:)

    ReplyDelete
  43. Loved this post! I wanted all that stuff too and ended up not being to able to have any. In the last 4 years we have adopted 7 kids (the last ones are twins), and there are days when I go to the bathroom, lock the door, sit on the toilet eating the last cookie and ask myself why I thought being a mom was sooo important. I think no matter what path we choose to mommy-hood there are always moments of "what the hell did I do, and why?"

    Thanks so much for reminding us that we are not alone.

    ReplyDelete