Friday, February 6, 2015

Sports Illustrated Finally Endorses Jacking Off To Plus Size Models, What An Important Day For Women

Sports Illustrated is allowing a company that makes bikinis for plus-sized women to purchase ad space in their upcoming swimsuit issue -- and the internet is acting like the magazine has just discovered a cure for cancer. How progressive! They're allowing a company that makes plus-size bathing suits to pay them to be on their pages. Thank you, Sports Illustrated for sort of giving men everywhere permission to jack off to a beautiful, big ass. As a feminist, this is truly one of the most important days of my life.
Ashley Graham is a gorgeous, size 18 model. She's appearing in the campaign #curvesinbikinis. Sports Illustrated is taking money from a company to run an ad with a plus-sized woman in it. Bravo Sports Illustrated! Bravo! So Brave! Here is a video Bikinis For All made to celebrate her inclusion in SI's famous issue. By the way, this company is the one we should really be applauding. Their bathing suits are awesome.

We are so far gone with this narrative that curvy women are somehow "fringe" and not the status quo, that we are willing to heap a ton of praise on an issue of a magazine that is made for men and simply serves to reduce women to tits in a bikini, for allowing a super sexy woman to appear in an ad on its pages. The Huffpost wrote an article about the ad titled, Ashley Graham's Historic Plus-Size Ad Runs In Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit IssueHistoric? Why? Is this really an important moment for women? The moment that Sports Illustrated decided it would kind of admit women with curves were sexy by allowing them to appear in the pages of their coveted issue?
Sorry to burst everyone's bubble, but this is not a great victory for women. Carry on.
I suppose I can't write about the "historic" ad without mentioning the "historic" inclusion of a "plus size model" among the ranks of the the models Sports Illustrated is actually paying to pose on their pages this year. But, I'm totally ignoring this non-news, because this woman... NOT plus size. Can everyone just stop drinking the Kool Aid? Robin Lawley is gorgeous, and a size 12. Look at her! Is there something ground-breaking about that body being on the pages of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue? If there is, we really have gone collectively mad.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

12 Things Your Fussy Toddler Will Cry About Before 10 AM

Toddlers aren’t always fussy — but there’s a reason all of the rumors about how terribly behaved they are exist: when they’re pissed, they’re pissed.
I don’t care what the droves of advice out there say, there’s really nothing you can do to reason with a toddler who has woken up on the wrong side of the bed. Choose your battles. Some days, you will deal with a dozen epic fits before most people eat their breakfast.
You are not alone.
Here are some of the reasons your toddler may have lost her shit this morning.
1. You wouldn’t let him chew on his diaper.
2. She doesn’t want to say “good morning” to her brother.
3. He hates his highchair.
4. She doesn’t want that apple.
5. You won’t let him lick the TV.
6. She wants to sit on your lap.

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Thursday, January 15, 2015

Manbabies Become Engraged When Women Agree With Compliments Online

I’m sure by now you’ve seen the Bye Felipe Instagram account, where women post screenshots of interactions they have on dating sites when they don’t return a man’s affections. If you’ve somehow avoided it, I’m sorry for ruining your morning. But did you know, as a woman, you may receive the same kind of ire if you do respond to men online and agree with whatever compliment they’ve thrown your way?
Claire Boniface experienced the same thing the women of Bye Felipe experienced – if she didn’t acknowledge their compliments or messages, she would be criticized for not replying. So what would happen if she did acknowledge them? That’s what she set out to uncover when she started what she calls on her Tumblr page “a social experiment.”
“I’m doing a social experiment called ‘agreeing with boys when they compliment you’.”
Can you guess where this is going? If you answered, “some men do not like it when women accept compliments,” you would be right. Gweneth Bateman got wind of the “social experiment” and decided to share the page with her 67,000+ Twitter followers. She tweets the images from her account @spiritualvodka:

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Sunday, November 9, 2014

The Worst School Shooting Since Sandy Hook Happened, And No One’s Looking For An Explanation

The worst school shooting since Sandy Hook happened three weeks ago – and the news has all but forgotten about it. Apart from the few updates about victims continuing to die, we’ve somehow accepted the narrative that a popular, attractive boy snapped because of some heartbreak or bullying — and the best thing that we can all do is move on and let the families heal.
Everything plays out in the media now. Everything. The radio silence that has occurred since this shooting is sending a rather loud message to our children — and it’s one that we should be very concerned about.
Should we be happy that this shooter wasn’t vilified in the media like every, single other school shooter in our history was?  Should we be comforted with the image of one of the only surviving victims smiling with a pop star? Should we be glad his ex-girlfriend — the one he sent a gun selfie to before he shot five of his friends and turned the gun on himself — is so nonplussed about being connected to a killer and this tragedy that she keeps an image of him on her public Facebook page and writes loving messages to him that she knows the world will see?
I’m going to say, “no.”
In the days after the shooting, stories began to appear about a heartbreak and a love triangle. The media seemed to be excusing this killer for taking three lives and his own because he was sad about a girl. There were hints of “betrayal” in several news stories. Articles covering the shooting seemed to be memorializing the killer right along with his victims.

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Wednesday, October 15, 2014


She looks surprised when I cough.

"I'm not very good at this. It's not my thing."

The smell brings a sadness I wasn't expecting.

"It's the only thing he loved," I explain. "Thought if it was in me, he'd love me, too."

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Wealthy Moms Who Complain About How Hard Motherhood Is Should STFU


Is there anything worse than hearing celebrity moms and CEOs complain about how difficult motherhood is? Of course there is – but I’m a fan of hyperbole, so I’m going to go with that intro anyway.
Kate Winslet reminded us all how awesome she is this week by pointing out that celebrity moms have no business complaining about motherhood. She said, in an interview with Marie Claire:
“We’ve heard a lot from actresses recently about how difficult it is, but we should never be saying that it’s difficult because we are so bloody lucky. It’s just not an OK thing to share. It’s always a juggle, but isn’t it for every working mother?”
Yes, it is. And it’s refreshing for someone with money and resources to basically admit that money and resources makes it easier.
I’m not saying rich and/or famous mothers aren’t going to royally screw up their children just like the rest of us and don’t need to worry. All I’m saying is, don’t be surprised if the rest of us who don’t have those resources want to punch you in the face when you start complaining about how difficult it all is. There is a hierarchy to this. Someone who has it way worse than me is totally entitled to tell me to STFU, too.

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