Sunday, April 26, 2015

Please Watch Obama's 'Anger Translator' Correspondence Dinner Speech

Friday, April 17, 2015

Fart Noise

Here's a little something I wrote about Gwyneth's #FoodBankNYCChallenge for Scary Mommy...

Gwyneth Paltrow Lives On A Food Stamp Budget For A Week And Annoys The Entire Internet

I guess the headline should have been "tries to" live on a food stamp budget...

ESPN Should Fire This Woman So We Can All Teach Our Kids A Lesson About Bullying

ESPN reporter Britt McHenry clearly wasn't happy when her car was towed. But, wow. She criticizes the tow lot attendant's education, weight, teeth... This is all just bad.

What a horrible person.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Mom Awesomely Live-Tweets Son's Abstinence-Only Sex Ed Class

A mom went to her son's abstinence only sex-ed class and live-tweeted it. The rest is history.

Friday, March 20, 2015

I Think I’ll Pass On Telling My Daughter The Cinderella Story

My almost two-year-old daughter got one of those Little People Disney princess castles for Christmas this year. It came with two princesses, Cinderella and Snow White — but you can buy a variety of other princesses to come hang out in the castle; BelleArielTiana, and Rapunzel to name a few. I was happy she got it: she’s the second child so she’s very into hand-me-down boy toys. Okay, she might be forced to be very into them — it’s all she really has. It was cute to see the princesses in her little hands — I thought, “Why not?” Each princess, when set upon this little stand in the middle of the castle, activates her own personal song and sayings.
It was a while before I really paid attention to what the songs were. I’d hear the melodies, but I never really focused on the words — I knew they were familiar and derived from whatever respective fairy tale the princesses came from. Then one day I was sitting next to her when her little fingers propped Cinderella on the stand:
I’m waiting for my prince
The one who’s meant for me
My dreams can’t all be wrong
I know he’ll come along
As handsome as can be…
Maybe I should have paid attention sooner.

Read the rest on Mommyish...

Friday, February 6, 2015

Sports Illustrated Finally Endorses Jacking Off To Plus Size Models, What An Important Day For Women

Sports Illustrated is allowing a company that makes bikinis for plus-sized women to purchase ad space in their upcoming swimsuit issue -- and the internet is acting like the magazine has just discovered a cure for cancer. How progressive! They're allowing a company that makes plus-size bathing suits to pay them to be on their pages. Thank you, Sports Illustrated for sort of giving men everywhere permission to jack off to a beautiful, big ass. As a feminist, this is truly one of the most important days of my life.
Ashley Graham is a gorgeous, size 18 model. She's appearing in the campaign #curvesinbikinis. Sports Illustrated is taking money from a company to run an ad with a plus-sized woman in it. Bravo Sports Illustrated! Bravo! So Brave! Here is a video Bikinis For All made to celebrate her inclusion in SI's famous issue. By the way, this company is the one we should really be applauding. Their bathing suits are awesome.

We are so far gone with this narrative that curvy women are somehow "fringe" and not the status quo, that we are willing to heap a ton of praise on an issue of a magazine that is made for men and simply serves to reduce women to tits in a bikini, for allowing a super sexy woman to appear in an ad on its pages. The Huffpost wrote an article about the ad titled, Ashley Graham's Historic Plus-Size Ad Runs In Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit IssueHistoric? Why? Is this really an important moment for women? The moment that Sports Illustrated decided it would kind of admit women with curves were sexy by allowing them to appear in the pages of their coveted issue?
Sorry to burst everyone's bubble, but this is not a great victory for women. Carry on.
I suppose I can't write about the "historic" ad without mentioning the "historic" inclusion of a "plus size model" among the ranks of the the models Sports Illustrated is actually paying to pose on their pages this year. But, I'm totally ignoring this non-news, because this woman... NOT plus size. Can everyone just stop drinking the Kool Aid? Robin Lawley is gorgeous, and a size 12. Look at her! Is there something ground-breaking about that body being on the pages of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue? If there is, we really have gone collectively mad.